Just a thought


This whole Brexit deal no deal, what is interesting is that it has been has been framed around the image of human relationships, particularly divorce. Now I have never understood our or my relationship to and with the EU as a marriage, but more like a club with members who have similar interests.  

I am well aware of modern relationships and their changing nature in society. It is not unusual now for couples and families after a divorce to say, we are happier now than when we were married. I know this is not the same for every relationship breakdown.  

I know of families from both sides of a divorce who go out to dinner with each other and visit each go on holiday and support each in their needs. Life has changed and it seems life is ok, maybe even better. I have no moral judgement on any of this iv been happily married (not sure about Erin my wife ask her) for 32 years, just an observation on language and narrow preconceived ideas.

I’m just saying not all divorces end in trashed wardrobes, paint strpper on cars and vitriol between the children.  Some move on and learn to change, for the better. 

My take on The EU is like my broadband, TV and phone package it needs reviewing every couple of years, (I try to live a simple life). Contracts not reviewed means you end up with a package that was right for a family 10 years ago, I don’t need children’s TV anymore they have all gone. The market has changed the value and cost of what I’m buying. If we did not review and change we would all still be on dialup.   

In some ways a marriage has similar elements, (not a commodity) it needs reviewing and renegotiating, we change jobs, kids leave home, we find new values and interest, we get more money, some times less money, all this has happened to me, us. In reviewing and listening to each other we are plotting our course committed to each other but knowing we have changed as life changed around us.  

I know some will not be like Erin and me and for all kinds of reasons they negotiate out of the relationships. But here is my point the best separations are good for both parties and the wider family. Not all divorces and in trashed wardrobes and paint stripper. 

When this whole Brexit thing happened my take was, choose the dysfunctional family you want to be with. Choose the dysfunctional family across the water or the dysfunctional family on this side of the water. These are the only options on the table apart from us all emigrating to Canada. Because neither of them offers a perfect fit and you would only spend time with them annually.

So my point is we change and sometimes we separate but the scissors and the thinners don’t come out of the garage. We do not need to be the family on the front page of the paper seeking revenge on someone we loved and shared our lives with.  We could be the family that never gets into the paper, the family who finds a new and fruitful way forward. Why? Because this family is mature and wise thinking and listening and we want to give the kids something better than they have now. 

Leave the scissors and stripper in the garage please listen to each other, think of the kids.  


  1. I agree with the sentiment, but separations and divorces are, I would think, more often transactions through emotion and hurt rather than reason. I now have eight grandchildren I've never met.


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